The Differentiated Life
Based In Surbiton, home of classic British sitcom The Good Life, Kathryn’s blog and resources explore and unpack what it means to live “The Differentiated Life.”
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Enhancing your Breathing to Reduce Anxiety
There is an incredible interaction between our sensations of anxiety and our breath. When we feel anxious our breathing patterns changes. It becomes more shallow and we begin to gulp air or hyperventilate. But it also works the other way round. If we deliberately change our breathing pattern we [...]
Developing Self-Compassion
Developing Self-Compassion When we start to reflect on our own responses to challenging situations or people we can get frustrated. We begin to notice our well-worn paths of words or actions. But then we realise that it’s difficult to change those patterns of a lifetime. We can become self-critical [...]
Karpman’s Drama Triangle
The Karpman Drama Triangle defines the roles that people take on (and can switch between) in stressful, emotional or high-conflict situations. Dr Stephen Karpman identified three main roles that emerge: the persecutor, the victim and the rescuer. We can often find ourselves drawn to a particular role. However, the [...]
Journalling using Free Flow Writing
One of the powerful features of therapy is the explicit sharing of your internal world with another. An accepting and non-judgemental other. I often have clients who have never spoken to anyone about the pain, sadness, fear, anger or helplessness that they experience on a daily basis. I am [...]
Introduction to Focusing with Ann Weiser Cornell
I often have clients who come to me with a lot of thoughts. Their mind is crowded and they want therapy to help them think their way through their difficulties. Sometimes a “thinking” therapy such as CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) is valuable, but sometimes it just skims along the [...]
Introduction to Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a very simple form of meditation. It is a valuable skill because it enables you to gain greater control over the impact your thoughts have on you. Mindfulness strengthens your ability to give your full attention to the present moment. It teaches you to notice and observe [...]
Fantastic List of Emotions
I love a good list of emotions. Being really specific in articulating how you feel is a powerful force. It enables you to connect deeply with where you’re at. It is the first stage of processing how you feel and enables you to start to move through those feelings. [...]
Session #12 Always Look on the Bright Side of Life
This session is all about the power of humour to dispel anxiety. Laughter acts like a vaccine against the contagious force of anxiety. It reduces anxiety by changing our physiological states, increasing our connection to positive emotions and altering our perspective on our circumstances. Laughing with others can [...]
Session #11 Keep Calm & Breathe
Today’s session is about taking a breath. Something so simple and yet so profound. Why? Because improving our breathing can actively reduce our anxiety. This session explains why and introduces you to a couple of exercises to help you develop some great breathing habits. I’ve created an information [...]
Session #10 “You’re just like your mother!”
Today’s session is about starting to spot how predictable we are. How sometimes we can be “just like our mother!" We all have patterned responses to situations of pressure and conflict. These patterns develop in our early years through experiences in our key relationships. When we get better at [...]
Session #9 “I just can’t do it.” Getting past challenges in your life
Today’s session is about those times when you are faced with a challenge that feels insurmountable and you think in despair that “I just can’t do it.” Your challenge may have emerged because of lockdown, or it may be something that was already there and it’s becoming more intense [...]
Session #8 “My Partner keeps Undermining Me!”
Today’s session is about how to find a positive way through when you’re used to organising things your way, but now your partner keeps undermining you. Individual habits, parenting approaches & differences of opinion can always cause irritation in relationships. Lockdown can make these minor issues blow up fast. [...]
Session #7 “My Kids are Relentless!”
Today’s session is about what to do when your kids demands are relentless and you keep giving in. Setting boundaries can be hard at the best of times but is even harder under lockdown. This session explores how the three elements of differentiation: identity, connection and responsivity come together [...]
Session #6 “I’m Working from Home & Procrastinating”
Today’s session is about what to do when you find yourself working from home and procrastinating. There is lots of valuable advice on the internet for how to work from home effectively. Sometimes we can know it all but we still feel stuck and unable to get things done. [...]
Session #5 “I Can’t Support my Family & Feel so Helpless”
Today’s session is about feeling helpless because you're stuck in lockdown and can’t support your family. The battle against COVID-19 is being fought by the care-givers. The NHS and other key workers who prioritise other's well-being above their own. Their work is amazing. But in lockdown we are not [...]
Session #4 “I’m Feeling Claustrophobic with my Partner Under My Feet All Day”
Today’s session is about how to survive (and thrive) with your other half under your feet all day Every relationship system (whether a family, group of flat mates or work team) creates particular ways of being with each other. We might call it group culture or recognise it through [...]
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